i'm a modern girl but i fold in half so easily

Tue, 10 May 2005 11:45:08 GMT

i'm deleting this journal. if you still wanna be my friend, add me on pieds_nus

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 04:14:48 GMT

new journal.

_paintspeeling

add it, cause it's friends only.

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 04:30:35 GMT

i'm deleting this POS and making a friends only.

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 03:44:04 GMT

my life has gone to shit two days before my seventeeth birthday. could life suck anymore?

don't think so.

i appreciate everyone who has gone out of their way to talk to me, and especially those who want me to bring them somewhere. i can count them up on one hand. fill up one hand, actually.. of the people who wanted me to give them a ride today. sucks, really. i want to give my license away.

and to the one person that did want a ride that i actually care about, sorry i couldn't come get you. you never called me, so i made other plans.

fuck life.
fuck 17.
someone put me in a coma,
so i can never grow up again.

i'm going to be a godmother.

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 03:27:08 GMT

i got my nose pierced.

as a result, i got fired.

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 20:05:05 GMT

my mom gave me the shitty old camera. it works, it's just gimp. sometimes the screen will freeze up. but i'm glad it's mine now. i'm still getting a new one for christmas. she went behind my back and got a new one for herself and still hid the old one from me, so i was like "you better get me a new one for xmas, mom."

we're leaving in about 30 minutes for north carolina. i'm going to be super bored about 60% of the time so how about you guys call me randomly and amuse me? :)

my parents all get all huffy when we're about to leave the house for a time period that consists of more than 6 hours. they throw tantrums.

my mom is in 11 days. get me presents.

my dad wrote out a check for 575.00 to a guy that works with him, nosy me decided to read the note that went with it. and you know what's amusing? they still code-word marijuana as "something", as if i won't know what it is. hahaha.

i'll miss you all. happy thanksgiving.

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 01:06:08 GMT

wouldn't it be awesome if i met a guy that was funny,sweet,nice,and attractive.. that actually liked me? yes.

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 17:43:20 GMT

i hate the fact you won't talk to me.
i hate the fact you kissed me.
i hate the fact that while you were dating her, we almost had sex, and you kept it a secret.
i hate the fact you're stubborn.
i hate that you made me cry while i was driving,
and the fact that i had to pull over on scenic to calm down.
i hate that i can't let anyone get close to me because of you.
i hate that you won't love me anymore.
i hate that you treat me like utter shit,
after all the time i've spent trying to win you back.
and now that you're single, you could give less about me.
how did i know it would end up this way?

Mon, 15 Nov 2004 03:39:41 GMT

so it's going good. i'm loving work, work is loving me.

my weekend consisted of alot of fun. friday night, there was whitney and margaret anne and stevie. i had fun with all of them. greek fest is cool if you know how to greek dance. and did anyone else notice that all greeks have big noses? went to that one band practice and it was alright. kinda eh, but alright. we left early and got checkers. whitney and i tried harmonizing.

saturday night, i worked. it was fun, for the most part. after that, i went home and hopped in the shower and headed to the show i didn't really want to go to. reason i went? to talk to two people and apologize to them both. i accomplished one but i wasn't about to sit around and wait for the last band to play to accomplish the other. so i left and headed to kemo's. kemo and graham were back from out of town so we all hung out on the back porch. dave showed up shortly after. we all played spin the bottle, but it seemed like it was "hey lets kiss cheeks".. stupid game. haha. but it was fun. nathan was a pimp.

today, i woke up around 12 ish, and went and picked up nick, got the walls of jericho cd, and dropped him off. my parents and i got into a big argument, and perfect timing, right afterwards i had to leave for work. but work puts me in such a better mood. dana stayed up there till i got off ( she got off when i came in at 4, and i got off at 9. ) and then i drove her home. damn, i love closing.

wednesday 5-9.

Thu, 11 Nov 2004 18:45:26 GMT

so they past few weeks have been cool. i've been working just about every day and it's not getting tiring at all yet. i'm waiting for my first paycheck cause its gonna be awesome. i've been driving alot lately too, and it seems the 902 house has become a second home for me. my birthday is coming up in a few weeks, and unfortunately, i doubt i am getting a car for it. maybe christmas, but not my birthday, because there is so much going on with my family that we really don't have any money to do that right now. i worked last night, and overheard jim talking about setting me to stock 1. which is cool. and then after i got off work, emilys hair still wasnt dyed, so i went to mistys. misty and i piled in my car and headed over to jeffs, but he was at casey's [ turns out ] and there were already too many people there. so, we went for no reason to pace, basically. after that, we went back to mistys and we sat there while i fixed my hair and then i left [ after seeing mary and angel briefly ] to get emily. i got emily and we headed over to kemos. not alot of people were there at all, they were all in auburn. so there was shane,mikey,david,dave,emily,ricki, and two other people that i don't know. we stayed there until about 12:15 and then i went and dropped dave and emily off and headed home. fun night, i guess?

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 23:38:00 GMT

drove to school today and it was fun as hell driving home. whitney and stevie came with me to the mall to get myself a new wallet and then we were off to east hill. i got the first le tigre cd.

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 02:21:26 GMT

well i got my license.

went to the mall for a hot second, and dropped a few old friends off cause i didn't want them riding the bus. then i went and got emily and we drove all the way out to blue angel to get dave, which took longer then expected cause he wouldn't answer his door. we finally got him, and headed back to town and over to kemo's. i met a few new people and they were pretty damn cool. the type of people i could see myself chilling around a house with. but, then magoo got there and we headed to the mall. dave went with magoo in his car and i went to my hosue to get a bunch of coins and then we went to coinstar to cash it all in. i got 14 dollars, and gave 7 to magoo for gas and kept 7 for myself for gas. i filled the tank back up and my ass headed home. all in all i had alottttt of fun for my first day of driving. i just wish i could have gone back to kemo's.. :(

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 02:50:04 GMT

So one last touch and then you'll go, and we'll pretend that it meant something so much more. But it was vile, and it was cheap, and you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me.

that explains it.
how i feel.
how i think.
how i wish i was better than i am.

it seems to me like life doesn't matter as much anymore, like it used to back in the 4th grade when i made good grades and went to my friends houses after school to play. it should though, i'm guessing. maybe, but who knows. i need to meet someone who i am attracted to for their personality for once, because god knows, i've discovered lately that looks aren't everything. i need to grow up, when it comes to my perspective of things. i need to get a new hobby, a job, and a car. i need too much and none of it seems to be happening.

i need to fucking grow up and realize there is more to life then late nights and parties.

.. thank you nick..

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 11:47:35 GMT

so, i'm sitting here at 6:44 and I need to be heading to school in a little way but i've really been thinking alot lately. there are a few decisions i have to make right now in life that i honestly don't feel like making. i wish my life was like the dream i had last night. me and a bunch of friends went to disneyworld. and everyone got seperated in the way that they would seperate themselves from me in the real world. and the only people left when i said "i want to go inside the park and see mickey." was, who? mary. mary was the only one left over. but, funny part, we found rachel sleeping on a wet concrete sidewalk behind this door. hahahaha. i love rach <3. anyways. some of these strange decisions are kind of tearing me up cause i don't know what to do. i wish i had a job you guys. that would make this so much easier, in a way that you don't even know. :\

i don't like eye boogers.

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 20:24:28 GMT

i honestly feel like shit. the leaking, and the mold and all that crap has really gotten to me. and for some reason, i'm having trouble breathing. :\ i don't know how to make it better so i'm trying to rest as much as possible, minus the whole school deal. i can't miss out, being i just missed 19 days for the hurricane.

i love my art classes. in my drawing class i'm doing an acrylic on matte and it's fucking gorgeous, not to brag. it's got a mixed color background and a girl standing there, and she's got longish poofy and very detailed black hair, and a body form, but no face or anything. it's just plain white. it's honestly gorgeous. i love it. and it photography, i was messing around the dark room today and i happened to make a pretty cute photogram. it was on a 5"x7" piece of photo paper and i had cut out the letter A and like, 3 H's. and so I did "AHHH" and put a little elephant on there and it came out really awesome.

i want to get a job and get my license this week. that would make an amanda extremely happy. i also want to feel better cause this mold is just going to have to die if i don't.

someone pack my a bag lunch for tomorrow. i don't feel like doing it again.

Sat, 09 Oct 2004 05:57:49 GMT

life is gay. but sometimes in a good way.
work from 12-8 tomorrow.
then to the pimps and hoes party directly afterwards.
thennn school monday.

sometimes i wish i was a beaver, so i could build my own house on the water and worry about nothing except flooding and my 839743275324 kids. :\

tonight was fun. well, the whole day in general was fun.

< dying my hair. what colorz tho!??!

Thu, 07 Oct 2004 16:20:21 GMT

one day away from all my close friends and i miss them more than anything. :(

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 21:36:41 GMT

WE'RE NOT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL.
GET OVER IT, AND MOVE ON.
STOP ACTING LIKE I STOLE
YOUR FUCKING SOULS AND LET'S
JUST BE FRIENDS AGAIN.

i'm fucking 16 and i think this situation could be handled more responsibly.

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 22:32:00 GMT

so, the night began with the group of us, deciding to go camping.

jeff says, hollyyy hell, we're going camping?

"let's get some weeeeeeeeeeeed!".. unfortunately, the wait was longer than expected.

driving on the way out to munson, we have to make one more stop.

.. to pick us this lovely lady, her rat food, and the rest of our crew.

it's a sign.. WE'RE GONNA DIE!

i think jeff's a little excited.

no that isn't parrot bay and grenadine, and the orange isn't tequila sunrise. [ for those who are wondering, we're not sitting in the middle of a highly travelled road. we went to blackwater river camping site, but it was closed and since it's in the middle of nowhere, we parked across the street at this freaky church and walked into the site, but didn't want to walk all the way. ]

jeff rolling the blunt.

jeff lighting the blunt.

jeff, french inhaling. cause he's gangsta.

i think she's breaking the law.

rachel sees something, uh oh.

now everything is okay again, but not for long.

everyone gets a little quiet, because there was a loud noise in the bushes.

..except chad and jeff, who proceeds into a coughing fit. so much for quiet.

rachel sees something again. she has a sixth sense. ...

angel decides we need a fire, a big one. to attract the murderers.

chad agrees.

so the fire gets bigger.

the demons licking at our faces.

then it happens. mary .. <b>dissapears</b>.

chad decides to comfort lah-lah, as angel goes to find mary.

angel found her, but they are running from something!

angel feels like a hero, mary feels even more drunk, chad feels a little antsy, and rachel..she knows something is going on in the trees above them.

OH SHIT! THERE IS! Angel thinks it's funny looking, too.

they proceed to show mary, so she can identify it. unfortunately, mary is too drunk. ^^

an attempt to show chad turns into a violent refusal.

misty, rachel, and angel attempt an elementary school tactic of banishing the demons.

banished? i think not.

so now they try to scare the demons away...

.. but instead of scaring the demons, they scare angel.

back to chads we go. and chad passes out.

lah lah ends up passing out too.

the night is discussed between the group of youngsters.

..rachel laughs cause we forgot jeff at the camp site.

mary and misty try to contact jeff through esp [ especially sleepy program ].

and rachel begins to feel sleepy. veryyyy sleepy.

could this have been the demon the whole time?

i'll guess we'll never know.

THE END.

Sat, 02 Oct 2004 12:48:43 GMT

emo = blah

Sat, 02 Oct 2004 11:41:58 GMT

Hi, I`m emo. I like to bitch and complain to my friends about my other friends. I like to borrow things and never give them. Ohhh, and I also like to act like all the other scene kids. MOM, WILL YOU BUY ME A NEW WHITE BELT AND SOME NEW UNDERGROUND INDIE-CORE BANDS. I like guys. Well, atleast I like one guy one week, then another the next. I wonder sometimes if I talk too much shit, but oh well, I`m not too worried about it. I like to lead guys on. OH, AND GIRLS TOO!!! :-D I make up things about myself, which is sad, but its so the guys will like me better, duh! But, if you`re a guy, you can only like me if you`re emoxxxxscenexxxxxcore.

TONIGHT WAS FUCKING FUN AS HELL! I`ll update later with more pictures. Misty,Chad,Jeff,La-La,Mary,Angel, Rachel and myself all went camping out in Munson. Well, half half camping, atleast. We got there and Chad had brought a bottle of Parrot Bay and Mary had the tequila and she made this big orange juice carton full of Tequila Sunrise. :) Hehehe. Eventually, we left Munson, the whole time, Mary is drunk so Misty drove. We went to Whataburger and ate, well -- the ones that had money. And then these cops told us we were out past curfew ( FUCK, FUCK SANTA ROSA! ). Santa Rosa apparently still has a curfew and it was maybe 1 or so. Haha. OH wellllll. We all headed back to Chads and Chad is sleeping but Rachel,Angel,Mary,Misty, and myself are still awake.

OH YEAH, WE DROPPED JEFF OFF! :-D

I like this guy. He likes me. But it`s going nowhere

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 16:16:36 GMT

so, the past well, since i last updated.. has been a bit crazy. we returned from albany, and i came home to a mess. it was worse than what whitney had said it was, but i'm glad it wasn't as bad as it could have been. so, the first maybe 3 days i helped clean around the yard. i have a killer tan now, except on my legs. i was so tired after working but it was well worth it once i look at my yard now. it was absolutely wonderful being able to bond with my family while we had no power. i enjoyed the few nights i was able to sit outside with them, and turn out all the lights [ mind you, i mean flashlights, and lanterns. we had no power at this point ] and just looking up at the sky. we'd turn on the radio and laugh and laugh and laugh. then, my dad left town. :\ anyway. emily's been over here for the past few days. i feel bad cause my mom is working her ass off and i'm not helping her. but, she always gives me attitude when i try to. i can't wait for everything and everyone [ believe me, there are few ] to go back to normal. i wish this fucking hurricane would have never came. so, in my great mood i am in, i think i'll write a eulogy type letter for the hurricane.

Dear Hurricane Ivan,

You suck for hitting Pensacola so hard. You ruined alot of our stuff. I have no back porch because of you, fucktard. Now I hear you broke off and you're hitting Louisiana. You just don't know when to stop, do you? Well, that's okay. Because atleast you're not coming here.

Love, Amanda

P.S. thanks for the insurance money we're getting back.

Fri, 17 Sep 2004 00:36:13 GMT

so, being the pussy i am, i fled from ivan. i'm scared as hell, though. terrfied that there is going to be no house for me to, well.. go home to. i don't know what to do at all. i'm trying to keep in touch with as many people as possible. i've only been able to talk to emily, chad, mary, misty, and dayana since i left pensacola. i've heard their stories, and seen pictures, and from the looks of it.. i don't think i will have a house when i get back. it's really nerve-racking. i, along with many other evacuees, find the people who decided to be cocky about it all and stick it out, are dumb. and i don't mean the people who are SCARED and stuck it out, i mean the people who are like "hahaha, come on you fucking hurricane. hurricane partyzzzzz" .. it's not a laughing matter. but, i don't think they are laughing now that their houses are destroyed. i'm scared. i don't want to move, i don't want to go back to a broken home. i can't help thinking about how horrible this is going to be. i keep checking the weather channel, and cnn to see any new updates on anything. i keep checking the news journal website to see if they put up new pictures in hopes that they say something about my side of town, yet they haven't. i keep leaving my hotel room to go smoke cigarettes, and let me tell you.. they're going fast. during the day, my mom and i tried to go around town and get the whole thing off our minds, but it didn't help when we hear the tornado sirens going off. perfect. run from a hurricane only to run straight into tornados. we haven't gotten hit yet, and i don't think we will, but let me say, today was hectic. i'm worried about the friends i haven't talked to. if they are injured or their houses are damaged, there is no way i can help. and i won't be able to help, because they aren't letting people back into town until everything is better. not even if you live there, so we may be here in albany, georgia for a few more days. i miss my friends, i miss my house. i hope i still have my friends and my house when i get home, in whatever shape they are in.

apparently, pensacola, this one hit us harder than expected.
but i'm here for you all.
[ not like anyone in pensacola will be reading this ]

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 20:26:38 GMT

the smell of rain is captivating.

i stepped outside to light up my daily afternoon cigarette and it started to pour. i just sat down, and watched. i watched the hummingbirds frantically flying around trying to find somewhere to land so that they could stay dry without being disturbed, which wasn't our porch of course. and then my mom came out.

i haven't talked with my mom like that in a while. we talked mostly about the hurricane, and what we're doing incase it comes. if it does, we're going to lafeyette. we're taking cleo,bear,the lovebirds, and forest. our computers are coming and everything else that is irreplaceable. and my mom is extremely worried and upset over it. but me? i think it will be interesting.

i want it to come.

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 18:49:43 GMT

so, this weekend has been a bit weird. i don't know. friday was a bit upsetting, yes. but i guess it was fun in the long run. i went out to foley with mary and misty and we ate dinner at lamberts cafe. it was kind of cool, being that they threw rolls, and we couldnt catch them worth shit. haha. headed downtown after that, and hung out with everyone for a little while, then i got some bud light. and uhh, went to that hotel party that blowed, then i came home.

saturday was fun i guess. i don't feel like going into it all. all i'm gonna say is i'm so glad i got to see whitney, stephanie, margaret, and bobby. :)

today is boring.

dear hurricane,
cancel school for us please, so i can go to lafayette.
love, amanda